(The carpet in question at my oldest son's birthday last year)
So a few weeks ago I walked into my sons room and was overwhelmed by stink. The carpet in there is 6 years old and the dog has had a few accidents in there. No matter how much we cleaned it, it still stunk. Then we were cleaning up an accident when my 3 year old took the dirty water container from our Little Green Machine and dumped it on the carpet.
I looked at my husband and told him that the carpet needed to come up NOW, today, 5 years ago! He just smiled at me and said ok. So on a whim of mine we started to rip up a carpet late in the afternoon. Of course not too long after we started the baby needed to be fed so I had to stop working and feed him. Then dinner was done so we all ate. Then the baby needed to be fed again so I had to feed him. My husband did 90% of the work on his one day off this week.
As I was sitting here feeding the baby, knowing that my husband was working away pulling up stinky carpet I was overwhelmed by a thought. My husband is a GOOD man. He puts up with my moods, goes along with my whims most of the time (especially if they don't cost any money lol), works SO hard for all of us.
As I was sitting there thinking of all of this I realized that it's been awhile since I focused on all my husband's strengths I have been focusing on his weaknesses. He has made some bad choices over the past few months that have really made it hard for us financially and I have been so mad over it. I got to feeling superior because *I* never spend money and *I* go without and *I* don't spend money frivolously So of course I was a better person because of all these things and *I* don't make mistakes like this so therefore I should be the one that runs the family.
It's hard to own up to but there it is. I'm a controlling woman who thinks the worst of my husband when things don't go my way. I've said this in another post but maybe I just need to keep saying it to myself. I am like a child when things don't go my way.
This is something that is going to change. I'm tired of watching myself acting this way and I'm tired of seeing how beaten down my husband looks every time I 'talk' to him. It's like I'm watching what is happening but I can't stop my mouth. Or maybe I don't want to stop my mouth.
I have started to take steps to change this. I've started to pray more for my husband. I've started to read books to help my relationship. But now I realize that it's time to pull up my own stinky carpet of my attitude. It's old and stinky and stained and it has no place in my life anymore. It's time to make a change for once and for all. Once you start pulling up the carpet you can't go back anymore. It can't be put down again once you cut it. That's what I need to do.
I'm going to spend the next few days thinking about this, but I'm thinking right now that I'm going to make my own challenge about loving your husband. This will force me to not only do a challenge but also spend the time making it and posting it every day so it's always at the front of my brain.