Sunday, March 25, 2012

Little break...

I wanted to write just a quick post to let everyone know what is going on. I've been feeling pretty sick the last few days. So my house is completely trashed and laundry is a mountain! Luckily my husband never cares how the house looks and is more than willing to pitch in when he has some time here. But of course, his work schedule is crazy right now lol.

On a crafty note, I've started two blankets. One for my husbands birthday in May and one for our little Isaac when he is born. My husband wanted Chicago Bears colors and so I'm trying to learn how to color change. Thanks to Youtube it's coming along :)

I hope that within the next few days I will be feeling better and will be back to blogging. Big thanks to all my new followers and everyone that has commented in the last week or so. It's been so nice to have people to 'talk' to on here and I've enjoyed going to see your own blogs too.

Until next time,
Jen

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Don't we all need encouragement from time to time?


I know I sure do. It's been a crazy ride here the last few days. I feel better today and in talking to my mom today I think she might have stumbled across something. She looked up chronic fatigue syndrome and it fits me almost to a T. It's hard to diagnose and I do know the dangers of self diagnosing from the internet but there are some home remedies I am going to try. Some of it is common sense and I don't see how it could hurt to regulate my sleep schedule and reduce my stress :)

Now to the meat of my post, encouragement.

Everyone goes through times in their life that are super hard and they need encouragement. Sometimes we get that encouragement from other people and sometimes it just doesn't come. I've found that I need to find my own encouragement. One of the best ways to do that is to turn to the Bible. There is so much scripture that can lift the spirit up. Here are some verses that have helped me in the past,

Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Zephaniah 3:17 The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

Matthew 11:28-29 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

I love these verses. Especially the one from Matthew. Rest in the Lord, is there anything better than that?

I have found sometimes though, that scripture isn't always enough when I feel really discouraged (is it bad to admit this? Oh well it's true!). It helps and it does comfort me a lot. There are just times that I feel I need to connect somehow with myself better. Focus on my successes and not on my failures. Focus on the gifts and blessings that I have been given instead of my shortcomings and wants.

I think that today is a good day to start writing down the things that I am thankful for. Maybe I will start a weekly thing out of this. Thankful Tuesdays? I don't know :)

Here's my thankful list, I think I will keep it around 10 things today.
1) I'm thankful that my boys are healthy and thriving.
2) I'm thankful to be growing another life inside me.
3) I'm thankful that soon I will have 3 boys
4) I'm thankful my husband is such a wonderful father to our children
5) I'm thankful my husband works so hard to provide for our family so I can stay home
6) I'm thankful for God's love and guidance
7) I'm thankful for this beautiful weather!
8) I'm thankful that we don't have to worry when our next meal will be
9) I'm thankful for sticky kisses and fingerprints on mirrors.
10) I'm thankful that God gives us second chances.







Monday, March 19, 2012

I am scared!

This post has nothing really to do with my faith or homemaking.

Last year around the end of May or the beginning of June I started running lots of fevers. For awhile I just thought that I was getting sick over and over again. That's not unusual for me sometimes. I've never had the best immune system.

By August I realized that this was not normal and I made a doctors appointment. I was tested for EVERYTHING over the next month or so and the only thing that she could find wrong with me was my white cell count was high and my vitamin D count was really low. So they put me on vitamin D pills for a month and tested my white cell count a couple weeks later and it went up higher. I was then referred to an infectious disease doctor.

She then tested me for a million other things and nothing came back. I had a CAT scan done then because they thought that it might be lymphoma. The CAT scan came back with everything ok except my gallbladder. I was relieved and had it taken out in early November.

Everything was going good. I had no fevers for awhile. Then I noticed that I started running fevers again. Now I've been tracking my fevers and it's been the same for two weeks. I feel the exact same as before and I'm scared. I don't know whats going on. I thought all of this would end with the gallbladder being taken out but it's happening all over again.

So everyday I run a 100 degree fever again. Everyday I feel so run down. I go back to my OB on the 2nd of April so I'm going to talk to him then and tell him what's been going on. I don't want something to happen to the baby. I HATE this!!

Sunday, March 18, 2012

A relationship with God

I got a couple sweet comments the other day on another post about my struggle with my faith. As I was responding to one of the comments I started realizing that I don't have a relationship with God.

I don't spend anytime talking with Him or reading His word. I don't lay my cares at His feet. I think that just like any other relationship in life the more you put into your relationship with God the closer to Him you will feel. Just like any other relationship, if you don't put anything into it, it can get stagnant. I must admit that it blew me away a little bit when I thought of it like that. I have never thought that having a relationship with God was something that needed to be nurtured.

But it makes perfect sense. Especially in the world we live in. There are so many things that can suck away time before you know it. There are so many things that, quite frankly, are more fun than reading the book of Exodus (that's where I am right now in my one year bible plan and I'm having a hard time with that book!). Also, I don't know if anyone else has this problem but I have a tendency to read blogs from other Christians and tell myself that that is good enough scripture reading for the day. I try to tell myself that there is a message there. Most of the posts include some kind of scripture. Sounds so pathetic when I write it out and can't justify it in my head.

So my plan to renew my relationship with God is,
1) Read the Bible a little every day
2) Pray everyday and try to spend some time praying with my husband.
3) Work on quieting myself so I can hear God better.

That's all I've got so far. Seems like a great start to me. Now I just need to do it. Any thoughts out there on something more I need to be doing? Is there anything you ladies do that really works for you? Advice or suggestions? I'm open to all :)

I hope that everyone has a fantastic Sunday!

Photobucket

Thursday, March 15, 2012

So where do I fit in God?

I was talking with my husband late last night. It was a horrible night for sleeping and there were many things running through my head. My husband and I both have a desire for him to be the biblical head of our house and for me to be a biblical submissive wife. We struggle with this so much.

One of our problems is I am super controlling. This comes from my past. I was the stereotypical anorexic for 2 years. I lost all control over my life (it's a long story that involves the death of my dad, and an extremely toxic relationship) and so I latched onto food as the one thing I could control. It's very hard for me to let go of control because I am scared that my life will become toxic again if I give someone else control.

The other problem is my husband is afraid of taking up the mantle of leadership and failing us. So for him it's easier to fail by doing nothing than to try and fail. I don't understand his fears completely but I do understand how it's easier to just do nothing and fail then it is to put everything into something and fail at it.

This has been such a struggle for me so much lately (I don't exactly know how much of a struggle it has been for my husband and I won't speak for him because when I do that I'm usually wrong lol). I've found myself upset with my husband when he wants some time with his friends, when he sits down instead of helping me.

I know that he needs time to relax too but I am so overwhelmed with the kids and the house and my pregnancy that I don't know what to do anymore. It doesn't help that I only average about 5 hours of sleep a night because of kids waking up and pain from my pregnancy. I'm so tired all the time.

I know that biblical submission is a hot topic most of the time but I have seen it work in my family. My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for 5 and I think that the months that submission worked well we were the happiest we have ever been. I want to get back there so bad but I'm honestly at a loss as to how.

I know part of it will come when my relationship with God is back on track again. I can't do this by myself. I will never succeed on my own. I will need His strength to carry me through. I wish that I had some answers for myself and for other women that might be struggling with the same thing. But I don't. I'm floundering and seeking answers just like everyone else. I wish I could use this blog to impart some wisdom to other women like I see so many other blogs do. This blog is more of a 'come on in, get a cup of coffee and talk to me' blog. A 'I know exactly what you are going through' blog. And a 'we will figure this whole journey out together' blog :)

I shared this post here,

and here,
Growing Home

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!

I'm revamping my blog later today after homeschooling is done and the laundry monster has been tamed a little bit.

I'm renaming the blog, having a new about me section, and taking this blog in a whole new direction. I've tried to blog like the other homemaker bloggers I see and I've just realized that it is not me. I'm not a homemaker who has it all together, I struggle in my faith still and I feel like my blog needs to reflect this.

We all have little niches and things we do well and my blog needs to reflect me. Not a poor imitation of what other women do well.

So stay tuned :)

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

It's a...

BOY!

We went today for the big ultrasound and found out we are having our third boy. Our little guy is healthy and on track for weight. Heartbeat was good. Everything looked good. So Isaac Samuel will be here sometime around August 6th.

I felt a lot of disappointment at first because this is probably going to be our last baby and I'm sad that I won't have a daughter. But disappointment is going away and the thought of holding a sweet baby boy again is exciting!