Thursday, August 25, 2011

Today's the day

That I finally go back to the doctor. I pray that the doctor will figure out what is wrong with me and that I can start treatment. I'm tired of being sick all of the time and I want more energy to play with my kiddos. Hopefully there will be a good update later today :)

Monday, August 15, 2011

My baptism

Yesterday my boys and I were baptised after church. I think that my thoughts on baptism for my boys and me are vastly different. For my boys, I felt like this baptism was their first step on their path towards Christ. It was a public way for my husband and I to declare our intentions to raise our boys in the Lord. I wasn't sure if we should get them baptised or wait until they were older but then I realized that I always felt I was missing something by not being baptised as a child. I didn't want them to feel that and I want them to be able to have a solid biblical foundation and this is one of the blocks of that foundation for me.

Now for me, because I am an adult, I felt like my baptism was literally washing away my old life and making me new in Christ. I feel like I had gone as far in my walk as I could go without this step. Now I feel like the doors have been flung wide open and God is going to move in my life. I feel like now I can be molded into the woman I see inside.

I asked our pastor to include 2 Corinthians 5:17 in my baptism. Everything I felt about it is summed up in that one scripture verse. It's really an exciting feeling to know that you are obedient to God and he will use your obedience for His will. I know that His molding of me will not always be what I want or always be easy but I'm ready! Your will be done in my life Lord!

I wanted to include a few pictures of my boys and I. The first one also has our pastor. Pastor Paige is awesome. She has such a heart for God and she is so enthusiastic! I'm so glad that she was the one to baptize us :)

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Lots of things going on... Trusting in the Lord

So we are not moving. The home inspection didn't go well so we decided to let the house go. I was pretty sad about it but now I'm actually glad that we aren't moving. For one, I get to homeschool my buddy this year. I picked out a curriculum from Timberdoodle and I think it's going to work out really well for us. I'm really excited to start. I'm also getting some good ideas from other blogs I read and today I realized that starting out the school day with calendar time is a really good idea. I found some calendars for really cheap and they are so cute! It's something that my little one can sit and do with us even if he doesn't understand right away.

I'm going to have my little one, Tristan, do 'school' with us too. He's going to get his own crayons and coloring books and he will be able to sit at the table with us too. I think that getting the little one involved will make everything run smoother and will make him feel involved. Plus if he picks up some things along the way it's a bonus!

I'm honestly glad that we aren't moving because I've been sick for awhile now. This has been going on for a month on and off but for the past week now, I've had no break from it. I've been running 100 degree fevers every day, my joints ache so bad, my lymph nodes in my neck and underneath my arms are swollen and painful. Plus I have exhaustion so bad that I can't function most days and I feel like I am really short of breath.

I'm trusting that the Lord knows what he is doing and what is best for me, but that doesn't stop the fear that there is something really wrong with me. This has been going on so long with only small breaks of health in between that I can't even imagine what could be wrong. I am going to the doctor tomorrow so I'm hopeful they find what's wrong and I can be on the path to healing. I've spent some time looking up my symptoms and I have a lot of the symptoms of Lupus. I'm hoping that it's not that or something like that. I don't want to have to battle this for the rest of my life.

I know that I need to trust in the Lord more than I do. But overall I am trusting him. He is the Great Physician and I know that whatever it is He will get me through it. I don't understand why I'm going through this but I do understand that whatever is going on, God will use for His good and I'm more than ok with that. My Lord will not leave me and He will be with me every step on this journey to health.

I hope everyone has a blessed day! :)