Sunday, July 3, 2011

Do I do enough?

Or do I just let my life pass me by? I'm 100% positive that at this point in my life I'm letting it pass me by.

This is something that I've been struggling with lately. I've noticed that since our offer on the house was accepted, I've been in the mind set that things can wait until after we move. I packed up my bibles and devotionals because, 'I'm going to be really busy over the next few months so this might as well get packed away now'. I have two e-books that I really want to dive into but I've just waited because what's the point if we are going to be moving next month.

My family has slid into apathy toward our responsibilities and sometimes to each other. My kids have been watching a lot of TV lately. It's summer time and has been really hot lately and in this situation I usually don't mind a little bit of extra TV watching during the day but it's getting to a state of ridiculousness.

When the kids go to bed my husband and I just collapse in front of two different tvs and spend the rest of the night sucked in to what we are watching. No one is striving for more. No one is spending time with God and my oldest thinks that he rules the roost here.

I think that we are in a crisis state here and I have to find a way to change it. I want to live a bold life for Christ but the life we are living right now isn't being lived for Christ at all.

Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

I have become that foolish woman. It need to change today. Oh Lord I cry out to you. Guide my steps, open my eyes, and help me to be the woman my family needs me to be!

Today change has to happen.

(I hope this makes sense. My heart is really burdened and I tried to get my thoughts out in a way that was coherent to someone else reading it!)

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