Monday, May 23, 2011

Why don't I measure up?



Why can't I be like this serene, pretty, put together woman in this picture? This is something that I seem to ask myself too often for comfort. Why can't I is a question that is all to often on my lips and mind these days.

I read blogs from these amazing women and instead of gleaning the lessons that they have on their blogs I think, why can't I sew like these women. Why can't I can/keep a house/have a bigger family/homeschool like these women? Why can't I stay off the computer more? Why can't I write these amazing blog entries? It's pretty much never ending the things that I feel I can't do.

But if I really stop to think about it, I'm pretty much like a toddler in living my life for Christ. I only realized a year (maybe a year and a half now) ago that I wanted to be a keeper of the home, homeschool, and never wanted to go back to work but have my own shop online where I could sell my goods. It was only in that time that everything changed for me and a different life for myself and my family began. We don't expect toddlers to read War and Peace, clean their rooms perfectly, and be able to write their name all at once. So if I really think about it, how can I know how to do all these things when I'm a homemaker toddler? :)

I have to be able to teach myself all these things and that takes time. For example, over the past year I have taught myself how to crochet 3 different stitches, how to make my own laundry detergent (to save money), and I'm in the process of teaching myself to quilt. I don't know any of this. I wasn't taught the art of homemaking growing up so I've had to slowly piece it together myself.

I also didn't grow up in a Christian house. My parents didn't become Christians until I was a teenager. So I've had to get to know Christ on my own.

That's a lot to learn so far and I think that I'm doing pretty good. I just have to remember that my walk is my own. I will learn everything I need to in my own time. I don't have to know how to sew because Jane Doe can. I don't have to be able to quote long passages of scripture because Jane Smith can. I have to do what I have to do because that's what I can do :)

I got to thinking about this because last night I had my best friend and her family over and me and her were talking about faith and the Bible and she said to me, "Jen, you should become a pastor. You talk about the Bible and faith logically, truthfully, and in a way that people can understand it." That really meant a lot to me. It made me see last night just how far I have come in my own faith.

I just wanted to write this today to not only encourage myself, but maybe encourage other women out there who might feel the same way I do. We can throw away our imaginary yardstick because it's not needed. Christ loves us the way we are right now. He will love us even if we never get around to sewing that skirt. He will love us if we have a messy house. He will love us when we get frustrated and yell. He will just love us.

When we cry because we fail, He's there to hold us. When we rejoice because we have succeeded He's there loving us. He's the best friend a girl could have and I know that I need to remember that more. If we keep our eyes on him and follow the narrow path everything will be right in the end.

I hope that everyone has a blessed day!

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