Sunday, December 13, 2009

Maybe I am just too hard on people....

Over the past couple days I've realized that I am a hard person inside. I care about people deeply and once I love you I love you for life. Because of that there are very few people I let in close to me because I an willing to do anything for those people. The downside to that though is, I am very demanding of the people I love and let into my life. I expect so much from them and when they can't live up to my expectations I become a huge bitch.

I think it's because I just look at situations from my point of view and I never stop to consider anyone elses. If I am willing to get out of bed at 2 am and bail them out of jail or go to the hospital to be with them why aren't' they willing to do the same? What I don't stop and think is, I am lucky because I have no schedule I have to follow. If the boys sleep late, I can sleep late. Everyone else has to work and get sleep so they are able to work.

Doug gets the worst of it unfortunately. I expect him to make up for what he did, not make mistakes, and if he does to immediately make up for them. I look at what I am doing and I realize I'm not even allowing him to human. I have a lot of work to do with myself.

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